Guidelines for Communication

 

1. There are many slips between the other person's ears and your lips.  The message you want to convey may be garbled, distorted, camouflaged or completely lost by more dominant messages.  This happens because the recipient interprets your message by his or her brain, not by your brain.  To avoid this, think about the possible ways in which your message can be misunderstood or distorted by a recipient who is not on the same wavelength or of the same orientation that you are.  

2. People are not mind readers.  They can't read your mind.  They don't know what is really bothering you or what you really want from them.  Ask clearly and precisely what you want.

3. Feel a genuinely liking for the people with whom you are communicating.  Remember the saying, "Nobody cares how much you know, unless they know how much you care."  When they feel you really like them, they make an extra effort to understand what you want. 

4. The rule of listening.  There are two ears and one tongue, spend twice more time in listening than in speaking.  The more closely you listen to others, the more effective you would be in communicating your ideas to them according to their frame of reference.  It is by listening close to them, that you will know how they think, what their favorite expressions are and how you can arouse their interest.      

5. The spoken word is but a small component of communication.  The spoken word constitutes of only 7 percent of the message, the other 93% is non-verbal.  If you say the words, "You are fine," but your face, body and your voice is conveying, "I can't stand you," which one do you think will get conveyed?  Match your body language, voice tone, and other non-verbal behavior with your words.

6. Keep your communication pure and simple.  Do not contaminate it with sarcasm, witticisms, or put-downs.  When you do that, people stop listening to what you say and get flooded with emotions and thoughts regarding how you are treating them. 

7. The rule of repetition.  Tell them first what you are going to tell them, then tell them, and then tell them what you just told them.

8. Check.  Ensure the accuracy and comprehension of your message.  For example, when you leave a message for someone, ask the person who has taken your message to repeat it so you can check it for its accuracy and comprehension.    

9. Review.  We will record what decisions have been taken so we could review what has been discussed and evaluate at our next meeting.

10. Walk your talk.  Match your actions with your words.  If you say something and then do another, your action will be received as the real message and not your spoken words.

11. We are discussing problems or challenges that has arisen from our thought process. Our decisions arise from knowledge and based on the current knowledge we make our decisions and these decisions can be right or wrong and they cause challenges. The effect is the challenge and the cause is the thought. We need to change our thinking by gathering more knowledge and information to solve the current challenge. Focus on the challenge and not the person and we will have a very good productive meeting.

12. Remember to focus on the facts not on opinions or assumptions. Do take notes for clarity.

Source Unknown

Responsibility - Ability to Respond

 "Take 100% personal responsibility for all your own performance results in life"

In a nutshell, we are personally accountable for our performance outcomes; we are truly responsible for our executed actions & subsequent consequences, & own everything that takes place or shape in our work & in our lives.

"Don’t whine; don't justify; & don't lay blame";

 

The great Indian leader, Gandhi said this, "you must be the change you want to see in the world";

In reality, & also interestingly, change will happen with or without our personal inputs; so, we might as well exercise our power to choose the extent of change we wish to embrace; & to choose how we allow change to affect us;

"Those who don't change with the times find themselves left behind";

There is nothing permanent, except change. Change or be history.

Don't fight the forces of change; use them;

"The only failure in life is the failure to participate fully in your own life"

What we are personally responsible for is our full participation in the change process. After all, change is inevitable, but growth is optional. Growth is essentially a personal choice. We therefore can participate by the personal choices we make in our lives, & in consideration of the kind of world we serve to create in our living spaces.

"Removal of past mental & or emotional blocks - subconscious negative programing - is the first step to personal success";

As one success guru once said: "We are born to win; but conditioned to fail!"

Interestingly, the subconscious negative conditioning or programming can come from our parents, our teachers/guardians, our bosses, our colleagues, our friends, & sad to say, even our society in general, especially through the mass media

"Clarity is power"

In a nutshell, when we have clarity in our thoughts, we know precisely what matters. When we know precisely what matters, we know where to place our focus, energy & resources.

Getting clear in our minds & then staying that way takes diligent effort as well as personal courage.

"If it's possible in the world, then it's possible for me; it's only a question of strategy";

I have learned over the years, in whatever we do, strategy dictates our success or failure. With the right strategy, everything in life as well as in business is possible.

Start the New Year, with this book '7 Habits' from Stephen Covey and that is one good strategy to embrace in your life pursuits.

The Legacy you leave behind !

I received this email from my cousin Maria Crescentia, which will be worthwhile reading.

Randy Pausch, died of pancreatic cancer in 2008, but wrote a book ‘The last lecture” before then, one of the bestsellers in 2007. What a legacy to leave behind…
In a letter to his wife Jai and his children, Dylan, Logan , and Chloe, he wrote this beautiful "guide to a better life" for his wife and children to follow. May you be blessed by his insight.

Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture

POINTS ON HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE

Personality:
1. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
2. Don't have negative thoughts of things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment
3. Don't over do; keep your limits
4. Don't take yourself so seriously; no one else does
5. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip
6. Dream more while you are awake
7. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..
8. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner of his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
9. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
10. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present
11. No one is in charge of your happiness except you
12. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
13. Smile and laugh more
14. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Community:
15. Call your family often
16. Each day give something good to others
17. Forgive everyone for everything
18. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6
19. Try to make at least three people smile each day
20. What other people think of you is none of your business
21. Your job will not take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
22. Put GOD first in anything and everything that you think, say and do.
23. GOD heals everything
24. Do the right things
25. However good or bad a situation is, it will change
26. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up
27. The best is yet to come
28. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful
29. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it
30. If you know GOD you will always be happy. So, be happy.

While you practice all of the above, share this knowledge with the people you love, people you school with, people you play with, people you work with and people you live with. Not only will it enrich YOUR life, but also that of those around you.

Taking Personal Responsibility

We are in the constant process of blaming others or justifying for our current condition or status and never look inside our selves for what we need to change. This was true for me till I went for a personal breakthrough programme in the year 1997. I walked out of the event with only one thing in my mind "For things to change first I must change". And the first thing to change is taking responsibility for everything that happens around me. I like this write up by Brian Tracy:

By: Brian Tracy

Did you ever stop to think that everything you are or ever will be is completely up to you? Just imagine! You are where you are because of who you are. Everything that exists in your life exists because of you, because of your behavior, words and actions. Because you have freedom of choice and because you have chosen each and every circumstance of your life, you are completely responsible for all of your success and failure, your happiness and unhappiness, your present and future.

That thought is like a parachute jump: It’s scary and exhilarating at the same time. It’s one of the biggest and most important ideas that can ever occur to you, or anyone else. The acceptance of personal responsibility is what separates the adult from the child. It’s the great leap forward into maturity. Responsibility is the hallmark of the fully integrated, fully functioning human being. Responsibility goes hand in hand with success, achievement, motivation, happiness and self-actualization. It’s the absolute minimum requirement for the accomplishment of everything you could ever really want in life. Accepting that you’re completely responsible for yourself and realizing that no one is coming to the rescue is the beginning of peak performance. There’s very little that you cannot do or have after you accept that If it’s to be, it’s up to me!

The opposite of accepting responsibility is making excuses and blaming people and things for what’s going on in your life. And since everything we do is a matter of habit, if people get into the habit of making excuses, they get into the habit of evading responsibility at the same time. If they set a goal or objective for themselves, they immediately create an excuse that they hold in reserve just in case the accomplishment of the goal is too difficult or requires more self-discipline and persistence than they had thought. As soon as things start to go poorly, irresponsible people trot out their excuse and let themselves off the hook. But that won’t get them anywhere in the long run.

A basic law of human life was first espoused by Socrates more than 400 years before Christ. It’s called the Law of Causality. We call it the Law of Cause and Effect. It states that for every effect in your life, there’s a cause. If there’s any effect that you desire, or desire more of, you can trace it back to the cause, and by duplicating the cause, you can have the effect.

For example, everyone wants to be healthy. If you set a high level of physical health and energy as your goal, or the desired effect, you can have it simply by finding out the cause, by finding out what other healthy and energetic people do with regard to diet, exercise and rest, and by doing the same thing. If you do, you’re likely to get the same result. This is no miracle. It sounds simple, but in many cases, it’s one of the hardest things in the world to do.

Unhappiness is an effect as well. If you wish to be happy, the first thing to do is to decide for yourself the kind of life situation in which you would feel wonderful. Think of the very best times of your life, and think of what you were doing, where you were doing it, and the people you were with at the time. Then write out, in complete detail, a description of your ideal lifestyle. Now you have defined the effect that you desire.

Next, look at your current life and ask yourself, What are all the things in my life that are inconsistent with the lifestyle that would make me happy? In other words, look at the causes of the effects that you don’t like. Then make a decision to begin alleviating or removing those causes, one by one, until what you have left is the kind of life you want to live.

Your thoughts are extremely powerful. They have the power to raise and lower your blood pressure, your pulse rate and your respiratory rate. They can affect your digestion. And if your thoughts are strong enough, they can even make you sick or healthy. Your thoughts tend to trigger images in your mind, and the feelings in your body are consistent with them. If you think or read happy, healthy thoughts, you will have happy, healthy pictures and experience happy, healthy emotions. As Deepak Chopra points out in his audiocassette program Magical Mind, Magical Body, every part of your mind is connected to every single part of your body in a complex web of messages and impulses that affect everything you feel, say and do.

Only you can think your thoughts, only you can decide what you’ll dwell upon, what you’ll read and listen to, who you’ll associate with and the conversations you’ll engage in; therefore, you are totally responsible for all the consequences of all those behaviors. It’s unavoidable.

Perhaps the most important part of the subject of self-responsibility involves your happiness and your peace of mind. There seems to be a direct relationship between responsibility and happiness on the one hand, and irresponsibility and unhappiness on the other hand. Let me explain.

First of all, the key to happiness is having a sense of control over what’s going on in your life. The more you feel that you’re in control, the happier you’ll be. Men and women who have risen to the top of their organizations tend to be far happier than people further down. This is because they feel far more in control of their destinies, far more capable of making decisions and taking action. The more responsibility you take in your company, the more power, authority and respect you’ll receive. One of the smartest things you can do is to take responsibility for the most important concerns of your boss. The more you accept responsibility for getting results in the areas that your boss considers most important, the more valuable and indispensable you’ll become in your organization. People who want more money and more respect often think that they can get it simply by asking for it or by politicking. The truth is that it will accrue to you rapidly as soon as you step up to the plate and undertake responsibility for results in your organization. The most respected people in any company are those who are the most capable of getting the most important jobs done on schedule.

The more responsibility you take, the more in control you are. And the freer you are, especially in your own mind, to make decisions and to do the things you want to do. So there’s a direct relationship between responsibility, control, freedom and happiness. The happiest people in the world are those who feel absolutely terrific about themselves, and this is the natural outgrowth of accepting total responsibility for every part of their lives.

At the other end of the spectrum, there is irresponsibility, or the failure to accept responsibility. Each person is somewhere in between, moving toward a higher level of responsibility or irresponsibility with every word and every decision. In fact, a good definition of insanity is total irresponsibility, to the point of needing a straitjacket and a padded cell. Thomas Szasz, the great psychoanalyst, once wrote, There is no such thing as insanity. There are only varying levels of irresponsibility.

A person who is completely irresponsible is subject to anger, hostility, fear, resentment, doubt-all sorts of negative emotions. And here’s why. All negative emotions tend to be associated with blame. Fully 99 percent of all our problems exist only because we’re able to blame someone or something for them. The instant we stop blaming, our negative emotions begin disappearing.

What’s the antidote to blaming? It’s simple! Since your mind can hold only one thought at a time, either positive or negative, you can override the tendency to blame and become angry simply by saying, firmly, I am responsible! You can’t accept responsibility for a situation and be angry at the same time. You can’t accept responsibility and be unhappy or upset. The acceptance of responsibility negates negative emotions and short-circuits any tendencies toward unhappiness.

The very act of accepting responsibility calms your mind and clarifies your vision. It soothes your emotions and enables you to think more positively and constructively. In fact, the acceptance of responsibility often gives you insight into what you should do to resolve the situation.

Here’s an exercise: Look at the most common problems and difficulties that people have in life. Apply this simple remedy of accepting responsibility to each one, and see what happens.

People have problems with other people-their spouses, their children, their friends, their coworkers and their bosses. Someone once said that almost all of our problems in life have hair on top, come on two legs and talk back. So think of the people in your life who cause you any stress or anxiety and ask yourself who is responsible. Are they responsible for being in your life, or are you responsible for having them in your life?

According to the Law of Attraction, you’re a living magnet in that you invariably attract people into your life who harmonize with your dominant thoughts and emotions. The people in your life are there because you’ve attracted them by the person you are, by the thoughts you hold, by the emotions you experience. If you’re not happy with the people surrounding you, you’re responsible. You’re attracting them, and you’re keeping them there.

Let me give you an example. I have four beautiful children. For a long time, when my children were behaving in ways that I felt were inappropriate, I had a tendency to blame or criticize them. However, the more I studied child raising and learned about the subject, the more I found that children are almost totally reactive. Their behaviors are almost always responses to what is going on around them and to their relationships with their parents. So I began asking the question, What is it in me that is causing my child to act this way? As soon as I turned the question around, and looked to myself for the reason-in effect, accepted complete responsibility for my children’s behavior-I was able to see what I might be doing, or not doing, that my children were reacting to. Perhaps I wasn’t spending enough one-on-one time with them. Perhaps I wasn’t listening to them when they wanted to talk. Perhaps I was too quick to question their report cards.

I began to apply that simple principle to every other part of my life as well. I began asking, What is it in me that is causing this external situation? If the Law of Correspondence is true (and it is), and everything that is happening to you on the outside is due to something that is happening to you on the inside, then the first place to look is within. As soon as you do that, you begin to see things that you had completely missed when you were busy blaming others and making excuses. You begin to see that you’re responsible in large measure for the things that are happening to you.

If you’re in a bad relationship, who got you there? You likely weren’t marched into the relationship and kept there at gunpoint. So it’s largely a matter of free will and free choice on your part. If you’re not happy, it’s up to you to do something about it. As Henry Ford II once said, Never complain, never explain. If you’re not happy with the situation, do something about it. If you’re not willing to do something about it, then don’t complain.

There’s the story of the construction worker who opens up his lunch box at the noon break and unwraps his sandwich to find that it contains sardines. He gets really upset and complains loudly to everyone around him about how much he hates sardines. The next day, the same thing happens: a sardine sandwich. Again, the construction worker shouts and complains about how much he hates sardines for lunch. The third day it happens again. By this time, his fellow workers are getting fed up with his loud complaining. One of them leans over and says to him, If you hate sardines so much, why don’t you tell your wife to make you some other kind of sandwich? The construction worker turns to the fellow and says, Oh, I’m not married. I make my own lunches!

Many of us get into the same situation as the construction worker’s and complain about circumstances that are almost entirely of our own making. Is this true for you? Look over your relationships and ask where this might be true in your life.

Are you happy with your job? Are you happy with the amount of money you’re earning? Are you happy with your level of responsibility and your activities each day? If you’re not, you need to accept that you’re completely responsible for every aspect of your job and your career. Why? Because you chose it freely. You took the job, you assumed the responsibilities, and you accepted the wage. If you’re not happy with any of them, for any reason, then it’s up to you to do something different.

You’re earning today exactly what you’re worth-not a penny more, not a penny less. In life, we tend to get exactly what we deserve. If you’re not satisfied with the amount you’re getting, look around you, at people who are doing the kind of work you would like to do and earning the kind of money you would like to earn. Ask them what they’re doing differently from what you’re doing. What are the causes of the effects they’re getting? Once you know what they are, accept complete responsibility for your situation, apply your wonderful mind and abilities, back them with willpower and self-discipline, and get busy making the changes you need to make to enjoy the life you want to enjoy.

Your great aim in life is to develop character. Character is composed of self-esteem, self-discipline, the ability to delay gratification, and the willingness to accept full responsibility for your life and everything in it. The more you say to yourself, I am responsible, the stronger, better and finer a person you become. And every part of your life will improve at the same time.

Source: Brian Tracy is a leading authority on personal and business success. As Chairman and CEO of Brian Tracy International, he is the best-selling author of 17 books and over 300 audio and video learning programs. Copyright 2001 Brian Tracy International. All Rights Reserved. http://www.briantracy.com

Compass & Watch

I read a book sometime ago, and I cannot remember the title of this book. It indicates that in life we need to have a compass and a watch. The compass is to set the direction and destination for us and the watch to reach our destination within a given time. Sounds about right. But my recent discovery has been that our current compass is grossly misaligned. Our compass is what are our dreams, goals, desires and what we wish to achieve. But there seem to be a misalignment with these abovementioned with our value system.

The Greek philosopher Socrates said “Know Thyself”. Do we really know who we are! In my personal assessment we really do not know who we are. Yes, we think we know who we are and what we want but until one examines our core value system we are grossly in misalignment to what we want. Socrates also said “The Unexamined Life is Not Worth Living”

“The Unexamined Life is Not Worth Living” by Karl W. Palachuk

The hardest thing about examining your life is getting started.

I’m sure you’ve read this quote before: “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Socrates said that at his trial for heresy. He was on trial for encouraging his students to challenge the accepted beliefs of the time and think for themselves. The sentence was death but Socrates had the option of suggesting an alternative punishment. He could have chosen life in prison or exile, and would likely have avoided death.

But Socrates believed that these alternatives would rob him of the only thing that made life useful: Examining the world around him and discussing how to make the world a better place. Without his “examined life” there was no point in living. So he suggested that Athens reward him for his service to society. The result, of course, is that they had no alternative and were forced to vote for a punishment of death.

Luckily, we don’t have to choose between an examined life and death. But the sad thing is, most people avoid leading an examined life. It’s not that they don’t have time or make time. They actively avoid examining their lives.

People who do examine their lives, who think about where they’ve been, how they got here, and where they’re going, are much happier people. No one has all the answers. And no one’s life is free from trouble and strife. But those who have some sense of where they belong in the universe also have a context for understanding how all the elements of their life fit together.

If there are two people, one with a map and one without a map, who has the better chance of reaching her destination? The one with the map, of course.

When you set aside time to examine your life,

You get to choose your destination; You get to set the goals;

You get to determine the path; You get to decide how long it will take;

You get to decide whether you’re on the right path or the wrong path.

In other words, you begin to know your self and to take control of your life. You decide who you want to be and begin to become the person you want to be.

Examining your life brings tremendous freedom. You can take control of your life and all you have to do is set aside half an hour a day to get started. “

Karl W. Palachuk captured the essence of this quote from Socrates, my question was what do we examine. I believe we should examine our core values, as that is our main compass. Our values are formed thru traditional education, culture, religion, social networks, society and families. An example would be from young we are told to educate our selves to get a good degree and get a safe and secure job, settle down and start a family. Now someone tells you forget this path and begin on a new path of freedom and achieving whatever your heart desires. You want it and it rings true for you but when you embark on the journey of this new path you encounter challenges and easily you quit, WHY?

Because your present core values and what you wish for or want which is the new value system has a gross misalignment. Your old operating system in your brain does not allow for the new values to take root. You need to upgrade your operating system by challenging your current values. Questioning your beliefs, norms and values as Socrates encouraged his students to challenge the accepted beliefs of that time and think for themselves. This will take place when you encounter challenges on your new journey when you have new dreams and goals that you wish to achieve. As you question and challenge your accepted beliefs and values you start to acquire new thinking (upgraded operating system) and in the process acquire new habits. This formulae was taken from an unknown source:

Old Thinking + Old habits + Short Term Viewpoint = Predictable Consequences

Old Thinking + Old habits + Long Term Viewpoint = Potential Consequences

New Thinking + New Habits + Long Term Viewpoint = New Consequences

When we have old thinking and habits our consequences are always predictable.

When we want change and that is taking a long-term viewpoint and when we approach it with the same old thinking and habits we will only have potential consequences.

But when you approach a long-term viewpoint with new thinking and habits in other words you have questioned and challenged your current accepted beliefs and values, you acquire new thinking and habits and the consequences will definitely be new not potential or predictable.

In conclusion examine you life by constantly questioning and challenging accepted beliefs, values and norms. As Socrates says: “The unexamined life is not worth living.”

Know Thyself !

Socrates
(469-399 B.C.E.)

Socrates once said this "Know Thyself"


The saying "Know thyself" may refer by extension to the ideal of understanding human behavior, morals, and thought, because ultimately to understand oneself is to understand other humans as well. However, the ancient Greek philosophers thought that no man can ever comprehend the human spirit and thought thoroughly, so it would have been almost inconceivable to know oneself fully. Therefore, the saying may refer to a less ambitious ideal, such as knowing one's own habits, morals, temperament, ability to control anger, and other aspects of human behavior that we struggle with on a daily basis. Source (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Know_thyself)


Do we really know who we are and this questions evades us even till to date. Until we can discover who we truly are how are we going to achieve our dreams and our goals? I work with a team of individuals in the areas of personal development and coaching them to build an internet based business. We have regular weekly sessions after our main e-commerce meetings and we call these sessions night owls, where we get together to have coffee and break bread together. 30/12/09 was one of these sessions that was held @ 11pm and my focus for this session was to approach the year 2010 with a thankful and grateful heart. This email was sent by one of my team members, Elvin Zhang where he captured the thoughts and points of this night. I felt that this is worth sharing with the rest of the world.


"Happy New Year’s Eve CAM Team!!
I’ve been staying up pondering and looking through William’s awesome Night Owl today. Despite it lasting a short while, I think it will have a lasting impact for all those who attended the Night Owl. It struck me to just share with the team, especially the people who cannot make it for night owl due to various commitments as I believe the below information will be critical to shaping 2010 for all of us in CAM team. So... Do take some time off to go through them if you missed the session! :)


Objective: To discover yourself as a person in 2010 (not only in the business but in life as a whole)


Ask yourself this 8 questions and ponder over them, arrive at an answer and write them down:

1. Who am I?
2. What are my values?
3. What is my current life as of to-date?
4. What is my future life going to be like, any decisions I am making?
5. What are my strengths and shortcomings?
6. What are the opportunities and threats out there?
7. What are 3 specific goals I have for myself for 2010?
8. What are the 3 things that I must do for 2010 or I shall perish..

Analyze what you have achieved so far? Be specific... During the year 2009, what have you done to your life? What are some of the decisions that you have made which made you who you are. Focus on the positive things.


Finally..


If we look back at the year and moan and whine and bitch relentlessly, facing the coming year will be a tedious and long journey for every single one of us. The very fact that we live right now, breathing the air around us and being able to read this very sentence is a sign of blessing so do count our blessings and give thanks. Effortless action only comes about being thankful of what we have. So here’s the final activity:


What are you thankful for in 2009? List down at least 10 (we all definitely have more than 10.. the list is inexhaustible of course, as many as you like)


The new year will be a year full of opportunities and it’s going to be a blast for every single one of us in CAM team! The problem is: It will only be so if our mind can conceive it and believe it! God’s greatest gift to us is the ability to believe in thyself. Make use of it and scaling greater heights in the echelons of success is a done deal for year 2010! Good faith guys/girls and FINISH IT OFF~ Festive Regards, Elvin Zhang"

Rolling Thunder

Our thoughts are thunder ! Constantly rolling in our brain ! Deepak Chopra indicates that we go through 60'000 thoughts per day and 90% are negative thoughts repeated over and over again. We are responsible for our THOUGHTS ! Thoughts are Causes, Outcomes are Effects !


“People have to be responsible for their thoughts, so they have to learn to control them. It may not be easy, but it can be done. First of all, if we don’t want to think certain things we don’t say them. We don’t have to eat everything we see, and we don’t have to say everything we think. So we begin by watching our words and speaking with good purpose only. There are times when we must have clear and pure minds with no unwanted thoughts and we have to train and prepare steadily for those times until we are ready. We don’t have to say or think what we don’t wish to. We have a choice in those things, and we have to realize that and practice using that choice. There is no use condemning yourself for the thoughts and ideas that come into your mind; so there’s no use arguing with yourself or fighting your thoughts. Just realize that you can think what you choose. You don’t have to pay attention to those unwanted thoughts. If they keep coming into your head, just let them alone and say, ‘I don’t choose to have such thoughts’, and they will soon go away. If you keep a steady determination and stick with that purpose you will know how to use that choice and control your consciousness so unwanted thoughts don’t come to you anymore. Then you can experience purification completely and in the right way and no impurities can exist in your mind or body at anytime.”

Rolling Thunder by Doug Boyd

Self Mastery

The above statement rings true for most of us. We spend most of our lives earning a living rather than designing our lives. Before we start to design our lives we should know who we are and what we want. Socrates the Greek philosopher quoted "Know Thyself". And to know oneself is to attain Self Mastery. The below mentioned quote from Stewart Emery will shed some light. Please read and master yourself.


Mastery in one’s career and consciousness growth simply requires that we constantly produce results beyond and out of the ordinary. Mastery is a product of consistently going beyond our limits. For most people, it starts with technical excellence in a chosen field and a commitment to that excellence. If you are willing to commit yourself to excellence, to surround yourself with things that represent this and miracles, your life will change. (When we speak of miracles, we speak of events or experiences in the real world, which are beyond the ordinary.)



It’s remarkable how much mediocrity we live with, surrounding ourselves with daily reminders that the average is the acceptable. Our world suffers from terminal normality. Take a moment to assess all of the things around you that promote your being “average”. These are the things that keep you powerless to go beyond a “limit” you arbitrarily set for yourself. The first step to mastery is the removal of everything in your environment that represents mediocrity, removing those things that are limiting. One way is to surround yourself with friends who ask more of you than you do. Didn’t some of your best teachers, coaches, parents, etc.?



Another step on the path to mastery is the removal of resentment toward masters. Develop compassion for yourself so that you can be in the presence of masters and grow from the experience. Rather than comparing yourself and resenting people who have mastery, remain open and receptive; let the experience be like the planting of a seed within you that, with nourishment, will grow into your individual mastery.



You see, we are all ordinary. But a master, rather that condemning himself for his “ordinariness”, will embrace it and use it as a foundation for building the extraordinary. Rather than using it as an excuse for inactivity, he will use it as a vehicle for correcting, which is essential in the process of attaining mastery. You must be able to correct without invalidating or condemning yourself, to accept results and improve upon them. Correct, don’t protect. Correction is essential to power and mastery.

Stewart Emery

Randy Pausch - The Last Lecture